Letting It Go (Grey): A Hair Journey

I didn’t wake up one day and declare, “That’s it! I’m going grey.”
It was more of a slow, curious unraveling. As my hair appointments started getting closer together (and my roots seemed to reappear faster than my morning coffee), I knew it was time to face the grey.

At first, I thought I’d just rip the band-aid off and color it fully grey—go all in. I’ve seen it done beautifully. But the reality? Gorgeous results, yes. Healthy hair? Not so much.

After chatting with my stylist, we decided against it. My hair is naturally coarse and dry, and going grey through coloring is basically a double process: first stripping out the pigment, then adding cool tones back in. It’s the hair equivalent of bleach plus more bleach—aka, a recipe for breakage. She gently explained that I could either be patient and go au naturel, or fry my already sensitive strands and risk them falling out in clumps.

The choice was easy. We’re doing this the slow way.

And let me tell you—the in-between stage is a whole thing. But I’m embracing it: awkward patches, shifting identity, and all. Here’s what I’ve found helps make the process a little less painful (and a lot more stylish).

The Growing-Out Phase: Welcome to the Wild Roots Club

The transition isn’t for the faint of heart. One day you’re rocking subtle highlights, the next you’re wondering if people think you forgot to book your colorist. (Spoiler: they definitely do.)

I quickly learned that regular trims are essential. They don’t make the grey come in faster (sadly), but they keep the shape fresh and make everything look more intentional—even if your hair is in that “silver on top, brown down below” era.

And while you might think highlights are the way to go, I’ve actually found that going a bit darker with cooler low tones works best for me. It blends the greys more naturally and makes the whole grow-out look more polished, not patchy.

Patience became my best product. Grey doesn’t grow in nice and neat. It’s a sporadic mess on your head. You’d think it would be like growing out short hair, but nope. Grey has a mind of its own—and it grows where it wants, when it wants.

The temples were the first part to fully commit for me, which actually worked out—they’re easy to hide when my hair is down, or highlight when it’s pulled back. Which leads me to the power of styling…

How I’m Styling the In-Between

When my part started to resemble a poorly planned ombré, I turned to accessories. Headscarves and hats are my go-to right now—bonus points for fun prints or leopard (always leopard). They help cover the more chaotic areas while giving the illusion that I’ve got it all together.

On days when I don’t feel like wrapping up, I go slicked-back. A tight low bun with a little edge control and a bold lip? Instant polish.

Other tricks: flipping your part to disguise streaks, dry shampoo for texture, and praying to the hair gods. Every little bit helps.

I’ve heard it can take over a year to start looking “ok,” but honestly, everyone’s hair is different..

Let’s Talk Makeup: The Old Nudes Had to Go

As the silver crept in, something strange started happening—my usual makeup stopped working. The nudes I once loved made me look... tired. The browns washed me out. Everything felt flat.

So, I shook things up. Bold lips became my new best friend. A rich red, a deep plum, even a coral on sunny days—suddenly, I looked alive again.

And this is saying a lot, coming from a girl who rarely wore lipstick. The biggest compliment? One day, my husband looked at me and said, “Something’s different… you look really good!” That was enough for me to invest in a few more bold shades (and some good lip liners). Now? I don’t leave home without them.

I also leaned more into defined brows, a sweep of blush, and a little extra glow. It’s not about overdoing it—it’s about bringing back balance. Grey hair softens everything. Your makeup can step up and say, “Hey, I’m still here!”

Documenting the Shift—One Sketch at a Time

As an illustrator, I couldn’t resist capturing this whole process visually. These portraits scattered throughout the post? They’re little snapshots of my journey. From the early grow-out chaos to the headscarf phase, and finally the sleek, silver-lined part—I drew each version as a kind of visual diary.

It’s part self-reflection, part celebration. Because honestly, this has been about more than just hair. It’s about change. Identity. Confidence.

And the truth? I’m kind of loving this version of me.

Final Thoughts: Letting Go (And Growing In)

Going grey has been a surprising lesson in patience, confidence, and choosing softness over struggle. I thought I’d miss the old me—the shiny brunette (who basically had a punch card at the salon).

Turns out, I really like the woman in the mirror now. She’s a little bolder. A little softer. And doesn’t give a F&$! what anyone thinks.

(Okay, that part hasn’t changed much.)

Have you let your hair go grey or are you thinking about it? Do tell… what’s worked for you? any good tips?